so wat do u tink of yet another new outlook...lurrvvee it dis time....lurrvvee the 'blog-skin modifier' even more....heehee! okielah, not sweet, not like the first one...but i still like lah...:p
aniwae, juz to share my thots..... today i was in high spirits in the morning. Had a short discussion regarding the work review (my ceecher frenz shd noe...) I've had good comments n feedback from my HOD (Alhamdulillah, segala puji bagiNya) n u noe how it feels like wen u gota do a lot of werk and get appreciated or u noe dat it is gona help bring u sumwer... sumhow, becos i am doing quite a number of extra2 things, it helps me to be a li'l bit ahead than the other new teachers. She said she could see the difference in me since time practicum dulu ngan skarang as a full-fledged teacher. I was soooo glad, dat coming from my HOD. According to her, she sees the confidence in me and she actually mentioned during the ranking session dat she trusts me to be able to 'move forward' and carry more responsibilities. She said dat i've done a good job so far and that I shd be more exposed so dat my talents n capabilities can be recognised....
after i typed all of dat out, suddenly it seems a bit overwhelming and pressurising....... hmmm.....truthfully, after hearing all dat, i feel so motivated to contribute as much as i can...but i juz hope i will be able to hold back a bit so as to avoid myself frm any burnouts n disappointments and most importantly, so dat the main intention n motivation of doing so is not becos of the recognition... i am thankful, sekurang2nya i was given the opportunity thru the dept's programmes... so boleh dikatakan, i had a good start to my teaching career... Alhamdulillah....
however, a few colleagues n myself had lunch outside tadi. the feeling of resentment, disappointment, anger, sadness....sampai mengalir air mata....haizz, it is hard wen 'orang-orang atas' failed to set the right culture among the staff and end up having a pool of teachers always there as 'orang-orang bawah', never recognised, never appreciated, kadang2 tak dipandang langsung pon...(literally ok!!)
so, there are 2 conflicting sides within myself. strive to be there, or stay to be here...with the rest...
Basically, i juz wanna do my best...fulfill my responsibilities....contribute....keep on learning....and prove to MYSELF, n not anybody else dat i CAN.... it wont be for others but myself and the Al-Mighty....
Pray dat i'll be strong.......
Said TiNi at
Dis is wat u get wen U're stuck In a Jam for over an Hour
Said TiNi at
wat a weekend...
Well, first of all I didn't do much on both days ( in terms of werk la) Went for kenduri at my cuzin's new place at Punggol on Saturday. Dat was fun, all get togethers are fun. Heh! Biasalah, me n the rest of the gurls..lepaking...haizz, if only...if only i have a digicam to capture all those moments...damn!
Well, Sunday was a photo taking day...(haha!) cos he decided to bring his cam along wif us to JB. I was sooooo thankful he brought it along cos we spent most of our time in the car, stuck in the jam...pergi AND balik! pergi especially cos we were stuck for more than an hr....balik however wasnt dat bad cos we were taken into a sinful yet heavenly indulgence...*winkz* We bought 2 slices of cakes...oreo cheeze n classic cheeze from secret recipe...yumz!! the best way to deal wif the boredom of getting stuck in a traffic jam...plus all the picture taking...we gona go secret recipe each time we go jb n im gona try every single type of cake they have there....heehee!! murah you...RM$4.90 a piece...dats abt S$2.40.....murah kan!!!
So dats my weekend...plus an additional day...hehe! so tomoro i'm back to school, doin my invigilation...the most boringest thing to do in a classroom full of kids...so, till next time pplz...
Kalau kuasa nak tengok the pics we took in the car....tengoklah!
Said TiNi at
Exam week is almost the same as a short break for teachers. Putting aside the tons of exam papers to mark la. At least tak payah plan lessons....kan kan kan....
hmm....nuthing much la...really....
OOOO.....i went to the robinson's sale semlm at expo. I tell u, i can go CRAZY!! sumhow there are much much more good stuff, esp wen it comes to shoes n bags. Spent abt a hundred bucks, nasib baik da nak gaji...khekhe!! lemme see, wat did i buy.....
- a sling bag, one dat i always use time pat NUS dulu...the long strap, leathery.....:D
- a pair of white shoes...hehe...my mom kata, my shoes berkotak2....yelah, a pair will come wif a box wat...mestilah berkotak...;)
- a pair of pin-striped 'keje2' pants...i likeee.....
- a purple colour blouse...a bit keje2 oso....
- a pair of ear-studs....its the silver Paris Bijoux brand u always see at Isetan. $10 onleee.... the earstuds nye shape kan like the letter 'H'....
Phew....tapi tak lah banyak sangat eh..khehee..tak termasok wat my parents n Syukri get for themselves....ada bags, shoes, shirts, pants, brooches.....hehee...hmm, macam nak pegi lagi la......
OK, selain dari kegiatan membeli-belah tu (sooo cikgu2...) my markings juz came in yesterday. TO tink of it, since there are not as many Malay students, i dun tink mine is as bad as the other teachers. Aniwae, new teachers are given less papers to mark. So, ok lah jugak...im not stressed.
Hmm, apa lagi.....
Ooo...the new blogskin....well, u shd be expecting changes every couple of months...yang ni testing2 jer...hehe...watever it is, i will sure lurve every single one of it....*winks*
I've been thinking again.....Bila aku nak beli digicam ni!!!???? sigh........i hope i can get it be4 raya....i hope.....
OKlah, till next entry....adios pplez!
Said TiNi at
It is sad how some pple form first impressions and stick to it no matter wat. Dun we all deserve to be seen not only by dat few instances...?? Dun we all deserve to be treated wif respect, regardlessof age, race, pangkat,etc....
I feel sad wen students began hating their teachers....n i cant blame them for feeling dat way. Cmon, we all have been young before, they too have feelings. They may not noe how to channel the right feelings to the right places, but as teachers arent we supposed to guide, help and advise..not to create more anger, pin them down further, scold n humiliate....kalau aku pon aku marah!!! who to blame, who to correct the situation?
wat abt parents.....*sigh*
Said TiNi at
Api ini menyala
untuk berbakti memberi cahaya
tak mahu padam
tak akan padam
walau membakar diri
kerana takut dipinggirkan
kerana takut digantikan neon
kerana takut kehilangan
walau teman hanyalah kegelapan
kerana kegelapan inilah yang memerlukan cahaya
namun dalam kegelapan
yakin si diri
yang terus membakar
akan ada hikmah
akan ada nikmat
yang belum mahu menampakkan diri
kegelapan itu menakutkan
kerana tiada yang pasti di dalam kesuraman
api ini akan terus menyala
kerana yakin ia akan masa yang menguji sabar
masa tidak akan menipu
masa akan menjanjikan semua
biar api ini menyala
selagi kegelapan masih ada....
selagi tiada neon atau pelita
untuk menggantikan api
Said TiNi at
My laptop is well again....heehee! Thanx to BB dear.....:D
Hmm, feel like updating tapi tak tahu apa yg nak diupdatekan.....lemme see.....
Well, so far the past week has been ok.. not too bad. Preparing the kids for final year exam, latihan after latihan. Been telling myself, i'm not gonna stay in sch till late, unless if i have to. Kalau ada chance balik cepat jer, i will go home. No more stay in sch sampai hari da gelap.. cuma at times i do feel dat i need to stay so dat i get things done. Cos biasalah, once home, the bed will come alive...calling and seducing me....hahaha!! once my head is on my pillow, dats it...i can sleep for 3 whole hours....bis tu mlm tak leh tido....then the next day ngantok lagi....n it became a cycle...yada yada yada....hahahhaa!! (gilerrr.....)
It seems soooo fast and we are approaching Ramadhan again. the time to reflect and look back...*sigh* sometimes i feel like i've been 'away'...n i miss feeling dat settled calmness, dat engaging feeling towards the Almighty...its true dat at times the worldly things around u makes u forget and detached for a while...n it is sad also dat only in times of need then will u get closer to Him... my wish is for my life to be prolonged to meet Ramadhan cos i miss it...
Aniwae, wat do u guys tink of ranking among teachers??? I dunno...a few colleagues shared their views and personally i feel like its all a big game. All the heads will put forward their 'weapons' aka good teachers...then other heads will try to bring them down...if u have done sometin, make sure it is seen...cos if not, its as good as nuthin....BOLE GITU???? hmm, i agree dat u do need to be smart la so as to survive but wat happens to sincerity and keikhlasan in doing wat we have to do? haizz....i keep telling myself, watever dat i need to do...i shall be strong n bertahan for the sake of the amanah dat i am carrying, for the responsibility dat i have in nurturing these kids to become better people, so dat the money dat i get each month is hard-earned. So i answer only to Him....and not to the 'bosses'......
but at times, its hard to say oso lah...............*sigh*
OK lah, till next time....hopefully there will be pictures then.....to my fellow teacher-frenz, lets all do wat we are doing for the amanah dat we carry so dat we will not go crazy. HEHE!!!
Said TiNi at
I need to deal wif my INSECURITIES.
Said TiNi at